Scott Brown elected Massachusetts State Senator

Do you think a woman who had posed nude could ever achieve national political office?

Disaster in Haiti

The only hope long term for Haiti is a deadly disease that only affects jerks. That’s the only hope for a lot of developing nations criminally ruled by jerks. The CIA got close with AIDS, but they didn’t realize back then that butt-sex and being a jerk were not mutually inclusive. Ah well, dreams for the next conservative administration.

‘We are the world’ Haiti relief recording session begins

These people need to be stopped. Send your money to Red Cross.

State of the Union address

I don’t know why people take Obama’s speeches to seriously. I mean, they were never meant to be taken literally. His message is one of hope and change. We can all learn valuable lessons from his speeches but – lol – you can’t apply those ideas directly to policy – that was never the intended purpose of his message.

Toyota Recall

Yeah! Another fat-cat scapegoat! Yeah, let’s get’m! Whoohoo!

Obama getting tough on China for trade agreement infractions

I’m getting tough on my credit cards too. I’m taking a different approach though. I’m paying off the debt – or at least trying.

Underpants bomber now talking, encouraged by parents

Wow Obama administration! Way to go getting the kid to ignore his lawyer’s advice. If only all terrorists had responsible parents. And thanks for telling us about it too. Now all of America knows how great of a job you’re doing protecting us. Hey, so have you gone ahead and put Al Qaeda on the list to receive your FUCKING news letter yet?

Sarah Palin to receive $100k speaking fee for Tea Party Convention

Only a Liberal would find this controversial. She’s a Conservative from Alaska. What do you think she’s going to do with the cash? Buy something with it? You give those people a rifle and a pair of boots – a few years later they’ve got a city with a shipping port. Watch, she’ll invest in some unknown little jackass somewhere and turn another baby-blue state red. Astroturf my ass… U-S-A U-S-A U-S-A

Healthcare reform bill stalled

Ok guys, I get it. You got caught up in all the inaugural excitement. We elected Obama assuming “change” meant a thoughtful approach, but you thought we gave you a mandate to turn the country on its keel. So you went after you’re dreams: single payer, sky-rocketing business costs, and reduced carbon output. I can’t blame anyone for going after their dreams. And hey, at least you go that juicy stimulus!

But those darn Democrats, they got in your way. Single payer was compromised into single payer under a different name – then into a public option. Then even that was compromised – first into some fancy long winded name coined by Pelosi that essentially meant public option, and finally, a year later, into nothing more than a list new regulations – more similar to the Republican alternative to Hillary Care than the brilliant progressive stride we were all assuming would slide through. (Eh, regardless of the naïve math and unfunded state Medicaid mandates) And to add insult to injury, you have to buy some of those Dem votes too.

And darn-it – you could have passed it. Hell, you could have passed a bill covering sea lions FFS. I know you’d like to blame the Republicans, but shit man – you knew you had all the power and that’s how you wrote the bill. No Republican could have voted for that thing any more than you guys could all climb on board with invading Iraq! Or – wait. You got tricked on that one – hu? Well, you know what I mean. You can’t blame the dog you’re walking when you walk into a pole – even if he was enthusiastic about it.

So the question is: What now. Indeed, this bill is shot to shit. Stack that monstrosity on the back of the toilet in the staff bathroom. But what now? Should you pole-vault over the wall with Pelosi? Should you try to come to some reasonable consensus with a few reasonable Republicans? Should you keep this unorganized circus with your ring leader off in his own ring singing his poems?

I’m not sure what you should do. I’d like to see some actual reform though.

Congress to cut funding for KSM trial in NY

Every time anyone asks Obama or anyone in his admin a question about trying KSM in civilian court, they duck the question and assure us he’ll be convicted and executed. So if this is just going to be a $1 billion show trial – why not just “have the trial” (wink-wink)? You know – take a few days off, “have the trial,” print up some transcripts and stuff, execute the bastard, and use the $1 billion on some new Predator drones or something.

Don’t ask don’t tell – once again up for debate

What part of “don’t ask don’t tell” is so hard to understand?

I don’t think trying the groin-bomber in a military court is willy-nilly throwing out core principles of the United States justice system or would be motivated by officials liking or disliking an accused criminal, person, or action.

I see such measures as military trials, and even Gitmo, as a necessary part of our justice system.

It would also be helpful in stopping attacks to be able to interrogate terror suspects like this fellow. We were lucky this time. He was stupid and there weren’t nine other guys trying the same thing – that we know of. A lot could be happening while the detainee chats up his lawyer and a plea deal is settled.

I understand the reasoning in fighting this thing like it’s a crime wave. We want to be a fair and just society that isn’t willing to compromise our morality when it counts: under pressure. And if our enemy were simply committing despicable acts of violence that made me angry and not like them – or if our primary goal was capturing people responsible for attacks – I’d absolutely agree and be proud of our treatment of this now-hairless-assed kid. Indeed, we don’t want to allow the terrorists to destroy our justice system the way they have our air travel system.

That’s not the situation though. The situation is: We’re trying to stop attacks. The situation is: We are dealing with a large and dedicated group that intends on, is able to, and is currently destroying our society.  And it doesn’t matterhow moral our society is if it’s destroyed.

What I don’t understand is why our enemy is taking so long. My only conclusion is they generally aren’t too awful damn smart and don’t see our glaring vulnerabilities. Likewise, our leadership isn’t too awful smart to assume this was a primary attack – let alone a lone non-terrorist non-Al Qaeda attack.

When you’re dealing with tactics and counter tactics, you have to constantly ask the question: What would the other guy do. In this case, I wouldn’t assume the other guy is making yet another attack on an airline with such an unreliable and borderline retarded weapon. (yeah, the kid had enough explosive to turn the plane into a fireball. But that’s only if it’s packed – it wasn’t – and in the right place, not on the idiot’s lap.)

What does our enemy know about us? Well, they know from the shoe bomber that an attempt on air travel causes what? Yeah – a huge bottle-neck of humanity on the unprotected side of the airport.

No good general sends his forces against an evenly defended rampart. He sends a faint here and his primary forces there, forcing the defender to disrupt and unevenly distribute his defense. The Groin-bomber (I’m trying to get this to catch on) could have been a precursor to some actually effective attacks.

Here’s what I would have done as a terror leader: The Groin-bomber would jam up the airports. Somewhere along the remote fire-breaks where the high-tension power lines are built that feed power to New England and DC, a guy would cut into their bases fare enough to weaken them significantly, probably three in a row on all the main trunks. A few guys would pack some luggage full of semi-auto rifles, ammo, and improvised shrapnel grenades and go find a comfy corner in the most crowded area of the unsecure side near the entrance of their favorite New England airports.

The airport gunman could then trap a group of people between themselves and security, depending on facility layout, easily more than would fit on one airplane. Once the first-responders are en rout, the high-tension lines would be finished off – blacking out and freezing New England with first responders having to mine their way through crippled traffic.

Details would depend on man power and finances of course. But three guys and $5k would manage it easily including a cigarette budget. The way to stop such an attack would be with quick interrogation of the first suspect captured, And I don’t mean ‘torture’ or advanced interrogation. A decent interrogator should at least be able to extract whether or not this was the primary attack and where or where not the actual attack is planned just by asking questions and studying the suspect’s reaction.

Of course, I wouldn’t let the Groin-bomber know any details anyway. I would have sent the dumbest member of the team for that job and convinced him he was the primary attack. And this would have totally destroyed our economy, not to mention the numerous people being killed, freezing, and starving to death. And I imagine public support would abruptly shift away from any type of soft handed, just, or moral approach to fighting terrorism after such an incident. In other words, the best way for our society to keep its convenient morality is to not screw around with dangers that can in them selves cause revolutionary change.

Obama just did another Bush speech – “dismantle and destroy”. I guess he’s transitioning his campaign focus a bit. Hell, he even called the attempted terrorist an “attempted terrorists.” Of course, right now he’s not being interrogated. He’s being treated for burns and enjoying the right to remain silent with his lawyer – complements of the people he’s trying to kill. He was also bragging about there being 25 more of him…

Janet Napolitano, Sec. of Homeland Security, claimed the system worked in preventing this attack. LOL We’re in serious trouble folks – because I guess ‘our system’ assumes the terrorists will use faulty detonators and there will be some highly motivated young civilian men handy to pummel the suspect when he starts smoking.

Can’t you just imagine the new safety instructions? Right after the exits are pointed out: “If you notice another passenger smoking, or on fire, he has probably tried to set off a bomb intended to bring down the aircraft and failed for a variety of reasons. Please leap from your seat and mercilessly beat the individual toprevent him from setting off the explosive manually and killing us all.”

This goes back to my suggestion after 9-11. I suggested we not let people know or choose their seat number until they board. I mean, you could still sit with your wife and so on, you just wouldn’t know, or be able to choose, the seat right over the fuel tank.

Oh yeah, and to be fair: someone evidently grabbed Napolitano by her bushy, big empty, coffee can of a head, and slapped some temporary sense into her – because she backtracked and confirmed that – yes indeed – the system failed to stop this naughty delinquent.

Yes folks. On Christmas day a terrorist smuggled a bomb onto a passenger plan, a bomb powerful enough to take it down and kill everyone inside it and who knows how many more on the ground. He pulled out the detonator and activated it. His plan went perfectly. The one flaw was a random (or maybe it was God trying to keep another idiot from ruining Jesus’ birthday) technical malfunction, like when you buy a defective appliance, that is the reason we aren’t sifting through rubble wondering what the hell happened and urging everyone not to assume it was a terror attack.

Take it easy on Obama’s war making decisions. As I reminded people constantly during the Bush eras, there are awhole mess of big-picture facts we don’t hear from the news. He also gets security briefings every day – or at least Bush did.

With that said, I – like most people, am anxious about this president’s backbone. I wouldn’t be surprised if he takes the same approach to fighting a war as he has everything else in his career: politically optimal. And seriously, there is at least a perceived lack of leadership. Hell, the attention I pay to the news is borderline unhealthy and I’m confused about what his actual strategy is. The last thing I remember hearing was something from one of Obama’s advisors about not needing to leave Afghanistan with an actual democracy. Yeah great, lets just squeeze the bastard country for what essential interests we need…

Emanuel is talking about how it would be irresponsible for the President to make a decision about war fighting before the election was resolved – and that quite frankly blows my mind. Where do people like this come from? I’d like to visit one day. I bet orange there tastes like blueberry.

In the real world the Taliban and Al Qaeda watch the news. The word “emboldened” gets thrown around quite a bit, but in this case it’s appropriate. They’re getting the upper hand and all they need is a little more time and encouragement.

We’re talking about troop numbers. We’re talking about a strategy that was determined months ago. (I know it’s ambiguous amongst the defeatist chatter, but it does exist) And we’re talking about General McCrystal, an expert in this type of warfare who has balls enough to walk around town without his sidearm, organ-armor, or brain-bucket. This is the guy who wants our troops not driving 100 mph down the road bumping everyone out of the way and shooting the pavement in front of jerks getting to close. And if you think that’s a reasonable request you’re unreasonably uninformed about guerilla warfare.

McCrystal would also like to cut out the damn drone assassinations, you know, the thing Biden wants to rely on entirely, somehow without on-the-ground intelligence? Apparently killing an Al Qaeda leader along with his family and neighbors does something negative to the neighborhood attitude toward cooperating with us.

So indeed, some leadership is missing. No one is afraid of Obama. Iran, Russia, and N Korea are all jerking him around. Europe won’t throw him a bone, unless you count the symbolic. And his advisors and fellow Democrats are spouting all kinds of illogical conclusions about how Afghanistan should be handled. I head someone say we shouldn’t send more troops – instead we should train more Afghan troops. Ha! Yeah right. Let’s announce our lack of commitment and resolve. That will get people lining up to join our side, since their very lives and lives of their families are dependent on such decisions.

And sending more troops isn’t “putting more troops in danger”. No real shooter is more worried about being needlessly sent in to harm’s way than he is about not being there to support his fellow soldier who is in harm’s way – regardless of politics. The more troops McCrystal has the safer and more secure everyone will be, and the faster Afghanistan will finally be shaped up into a free democracy. Iraq. Surge. Mc Cain.

It would be a true shame if we decided to lose this thing. Or, if we decided to half win with some BS “power sharing” back-room deal or halfsies between McCrystal and the hard Left. The Afghans don’t want to live under Taliban-like rule. But mostly, they just want to live. Most of them don’t care what’s going on. They just want to make a damn living. And right now two ways of doing that are growing poppies or joining the Taliban. McCrystal understands this stuff. Unlike Mr. Diplomat Biden, Mc Crystal knows how to achieve the goals Obama has set out. (Assuming at least he knows for sure what those goals are.)

So Obama, take what time you need. Please – ignore your hysterical left and those pullout-Libertarians. Make some solid goals – ones you’ll be proud of being read in history books (not the revisionist America-hating books of course) – ones that will free Afghanistan from oppression and violence. Make a strategy based only on bleeding dust breathing experience, a clear strategy, one that doesn’t need your poetry to sell, one that will likely be politically bitter. Then back it the fuck up! No, don’t make sure you have the support first. Win! That’s how you get support. Otherwise your just horse trading with idiots that can’t ride.

Show America you know how to protect her. Cheney calls your prudence “dithering”. Is it? Well man, it sure the hell looks like it from here. Healthcare, cap and trade, Olympics… Give us a poem about victory. Recite awe-inspiring tear-jerking limerick about how we WILL FREE Afghanistan. Convince the world with that charm of yours that it’s happening. Send troops, be part of the historical event – tell them. Give the Afghans some of that Yes We Can®. Come down on the enemy with some of that Fox-hurt-my-butt anger. Who can win against that combination?

Because we CAN do it damnit. WE CAN. WE ARE ABLE TO. And if we don’t we’ll be less safe and Afghanistan will once again be abandoned by a great power for reasons of political convenience and left only to foster a hateful whirlwind of revenge that will bite us on our peaceful-green healthcare-entitled post-racial chronically-obese wealth-spreading fairness-loving asses. So take your time, but make it snappy. Ricky-tick.